So so sorry just come back for me... now.

Sick, sleepy, and always lonely even when I'm surrounded by so many people.


You look out over a glittering vision of stability, a promise of love, of prosperity and permanence. you desire all of these things intensely, but just as intense is your urge to turn and run; to keep sleeping on couches and having ephemeral relationships, and to own nothing that can't be left behind. -Kate Williams

Thank you for everything you don't even know you do.

Thank you.

'You have your dreams I have mine...'

I wish I could fast forward the next couple of years. I'm ready to write all the time, live in NYC, and change the world. I'm so ready to know all I need to know and be just who I want to be. I want to help people without knowing it, keep people off the cliff. I want to be able to make a lot of money so I can share a lot of money. I want to interview the people who have changed my life, so they can change someone else's. I have too big of plans to wait three years to get them started.

"I tore her up.."

pretty soon our hearts will stop beating. we won't feel pain or love again. new souls will walk above us. we can only leave one thing behind. we can never know the end of our own story.... we aren't aware of everything, only a few small things, soft skin, sound, color, and wind blowing in trees. there is a hush all around.

Throw yourself in the midst of danger but keep one eye open at night.

Rachael Yamagata.

B-e-a-u-tiful song.

Let my words, be your words. Let my thoughts, be your thoughts.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith Jehovah, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope in your latter end. And ye shall call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith Jehovah, and I will turn again your captivity.
<3

"What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters."

Today was the first time in a very long time, probably since last November, that I have been this upset. I feel like I do not ask for much from the people I call my friends. I don't have many problems because I do not have many things in my life that cause drama. I do not have a boyfriend, I do not have stress when it comes to school, no family trouble anymore, and I do not spend my time with people that, I feel, bring me down. So when I need a friend to turn to, I expect to have that person attempt to be there... however this did not happen. I have been feeling like all the help I have put out, has been nothing but a one sided friendship lately.. and I'm very hurt by this. I ask one thing, a tiny thing at that, and I stand alone. I stand alone, literately in a crowd of people, no one to enjoy this with.
I want it known, regardless how much people hate them, I enjoy every ounce of effort they put in to what they do. I respect them, and I find them beyond very talented... do not argue with me on these topics. So the fact that I could not enjoy myself whole heartedly due to another's actions left me in tears. Tears that haven't gone away since I came home. Tears that are still creeping up on me at this very minute.
I feel cheated.