i saw someone had one of these, and i realized i needed one. not so much so others could read it but more for myself. i write everything down anyway, so why not write it here and if anyone were to ever need it, it's theirs for the taking.
this may be the worst start but I'm doing it because i tell people about my dreams on a regular basis anyway, so those that know me know this is not a random occurrence. i tend to have awkward dreams that freak me out or make me ridiculously happy, however this one has been haunting me since i woke up at 9:30 this morning.
i had a nightmare that my brother died, i do not know how and i do not know why but that was the nightmare. and it haunts me because i woke up feeling like i was never going to see him again, i woke up crying. during this whole nightmare sequence everyone was going about their lives and i did not understand why the world did not stop because my brother was no there. i can not remember the majority of the dream yet i remember the emotions and turning to my mother and saying.. " i do not have a little brother anymore", and the look on her face made the nightmare that much worse.
my brother is four years younger than me, so we argue more than we get along and i have probably hit him more times than i have hugged him in my entire life. however to think of my life without him is beyond unbearable to my thought process. a couple days ago we went to see a movie together, just him and me. he got all dressed up and put on cologne like it was a date, my dad said it was because he wanted to impress the girls if they would happen to look at him. but i think he did it for me. looking at him makes me feel older, a lot older. he is bigger than me now, and it is getting hard to remember who is the older sibling is.
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